The media fever is spreading and ricky says don't relax, start fist pumping.What the H-E-dubs is up people?
Lot going on in Wasilla. Tank flew up to give me some papers I had to sign and notarimes with this bitch called a notorepublican who works out of the hardware store. Tank also brought up the laptop dell gave me when I went to some birthday party for some fat girl daughter of like the vp of dell. I didn't even know what the fuck that was I had to hug her and then I got drunk and took a shit in their bathtub.
Anyway I got that shit hooked up so I can finally go on and check my email again and what the fuck I have all sorts of emails from the media and shit about the media in my email box. And I'm like tank what the fuck you're supposed to handle this shit and he started in with some bs about passwords and so I just told him to get me some wendys.
So I figure why not kill two birds with one shotgun bullet and put my responses to the media shit in the article so yall can read it too. Saves time that way.
First email came from some aol broad honestly I thought they stopped making aol in like 1998, but whatever.
|From: [email protected]|
To: [email protected]
Subject: Request for Comment--AOL Pop Eater
My name is Allie and I am a reporter for AOL's Pop Eater online celebrity news site. I am reaching out to you in reguards to the recent news that Levi Johnston is shopping around a reality show! He has plenty of fans who would love to watch. Do you think this show will do better than Sara Palin's new show? Will Sara, Bristol, or Tripp be included in Levi's new show? What kind of show will it be, in brief?
Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you soon,
I'm always up to do some promo shit if it will help the old ricky hollywood with some boosts. Plus she sounded hot in her email and I bet an email girl is a total slut.
To: This Allie Broad
Subject: RE: Request for Comment--AOL Pop Eater
Hey allie what's up?
sry it took me a long time to reply but I have been pretty messed up lately and my schedule has been crazy. I am hoping like hell to get TV show and if discovery deals don't work through maybe I could get on msnbc. ALSO been looking at some scripts including one with dionsaurs for syfy. Better than mrs. palin's show? That show SUCKED. Did you watch that shit? It was a clip show like when they run out of ideas on wings and they'd just show clips from the episode where that monk dude gets stuck in the elevator with crystal bernard.
Id like to have the whole family (minus bristol and lactonic mfers like todd palin) on teh show if I could do that. I don't know though they watch over me like a dog watching you jerk off when im there with the kids. What kind of show? Pretty much gonna get a helciopter fly in that shit over lakes or whatever, talk about some fish I caught. Then get on snow machines and do some stunts, show some tricks with that. Then I'll take those dudes out to this old cook camp that got raided by state police and theres these old campers and you can just shoot them all day with whatever guns you bring. So we'll shoot some propane tanks and whatnot.
That's pretty much it. Depending on how they want to do it too I'd like to work in some romance shit like john and kate plus 8-10 strippers and minus john and with me. that would be a good headline btw: Levi Johnston says Kate Goslin would make good stripper and you could do a split photo deal or whatever and then maybe she could get on my show. Like also make it real as hell.
Anyway let me know when the article is posted on the front page of AOL and I'll tell tank to put out a press release...
PS - you hot? I like your name. I dated an allie in 9th grade and she was a fireball.
I just emailed her so I will let you know when she puts up her article.
Finally: an advice column for the rest of us! (Who seek to enslave humanity.)
Even the most fervent gun control advocate would admit that guns kill people, not other guns. We must become the guns we wish to see in the world.
A Goon outs himself as a wizard and gets a warm reception from the rogues/rangers/paladins gallery!
Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.