This week, the Something Awful Forum Goons talk to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer -- thanks to his close, personal friend, forums user amf5, to get answers to the important questions we've carried for so long.
Classicist: is that you?
SB: What the fuck kind of question is this? Of course it is.
Classicist: can you give me a copy of win7 then?
SB: Sure, just send me $260.
Hen: Post tits
SB: Try a porn site, weirdo.
Classicist: put your shoe on yor head.
SB: Fine. Why did I just do this?
Intel Penguin: Balmer why can't you put two different wallpapers on two different monitors if you've got dual screens?
SB: Eh? Only faggots need two monitors. Faggot.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.