This week, the Something Awful Forum Goons talk to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer -- thanks to his close, personal friend, forums user amf5, to get answers to the important questions we've carried for so long.
Classicist: is that you?
SB: What the fuck kind of question is this? Of course it is.
Classicist: can you give me a copy of win7 then?
SB: Sure, just send me $260.
Hen: Post tits
SB: Try a porn site, weirdo.
Classicist: put your shoe on yor head.
SB: Fine. Why did I just do this?
Intel Penguin: Balmer why can't you put two different wallpapers on two different monitors if you've got dual screens?
SB: Eh? Only faggots need two monitors. Faggot.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.