This week, the Something Awful Forum Goons talk to Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer -- thanks to his close, personal friend, forums user amf5, to get answers to the important questions we've carried for so long.
Classicist: is that you?
SB: What the fuck kind of question is this? Of course it is.
Classicist: can you give me a copy of win7 then?
SB: Sure, just send me $260.
Hen: Post tits
SB: Try a porn site, weirdo.
Classicist: put your shoe on yor head.
SB: Fine. Why did I just do this?
Intel Penguin: Balmer why can't you put two different wallpapers on two different monitors if you've got dual screens?
SB: Eh? Only faggots need two monitors. Faggot.
"Really, Holmes!" I dropped into my seat, shocked. "You are remarkably tall! What are you, six foot six? Six foot eight?"
As the 19th century diver approaches a giant clam, a flash of brilliant golden light flares from within the shell. I emerge in a swirl of bubbles and do the timeless universal underwater hand signals for the following: ZODIAC KILLER, KKK, BLOOD OF YOUTH
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.