What they say: "This wooden toy is the opera mask ball series."

Kids have been clamoring for a painted wooden ball that portrays Asian opera masks and Hunter Wooden Products delivers! Excitement over the Opera mask ball series may actually exceed what we experienced during last year's rush on stores selling the plague doctor mask ball series and the BDSM zipper mask ball series. So sways the stable wooden ball.

Hello Toy. Goodbye, toy.


What they say:
"We produce flashing tooth, flashing teeth, flashing mouth piece, Flashing mouth guard, tooth guard. The best price. Light up mouth piece, flashing dental cap. Lighted tooth"

Never put anything in your mouth that came from China. You remember that toxic waste that melted the guy in Robocop? All of China is made out of that substance.

Contrary to the labeling, the mouth piece does not look like it would be "fun to wear." It looks more like it would be "hurt to wear" or possibly "bleed to wear." Definitely not for alcoholics with inflamed gums.

Flashing teeth are definitely a one-use product. You put them in your mouth and then you show your friends, maybe turn out the lights, and then you never put them in your mouth again because you're embarrassed that you put them in your mouth the first time.

More The Most Awful

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

It is said the Lord did write upon the sky, "Only the Most Awful shall be cataloged herein." And a wind did come and blow away the words and turn them into a skull. And the writers did fall upon their knees and give thanks, for yea, the Most Awful was good. Thus the lists were born. Read them, sons and daughters, and be strong.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.