Hydrogen: That guy yells "that titty is charging up!" every time he's in bed with a woman. It's like his sexual catchphrase.
Trillaphon: Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. See also: previous comment about how he turns off women at every opportunity.
Hydrogen: That electro-titty lady probably should have specified to her plastic surgeon that she didn't want one of the eggs from Alien used as a breast implant. That's a common pitfall.
Trillaphon: Well it's not like her insurance covers many non-alien options, especially after the John Hurt Act of 2016.
Trillaphon: And please, the preferred nomenclature is "laser titty witch".
Hydrogen: Oh, I talked to my Chinese herbalist earlier and apparently this is the Year of the Laser Titty Witch.
Trillaphon: Is that good or bad luck?
Hydrogen: Depends on how you look at it, I guess. Those laser titty witches aren't for everyone.
Trillaphon: Alright maybe we should move on from laser titty witches to that awesome fight scene the second half of this clip inexplicably lightning wipes to. Right after I'm done talking about how I played drums for a band called Laser Titty Witch in high school and w-
Hydrogen: Jesus man, snap out of it! You're right though, nothing says "awesome fight" like sucker punches and screaming WOOOO like a robo-retard on spring break.
Trillaphon: I checked and that cyborg rapist guy is the lowest-rated dentist on Yelp in like a five-galaxy radius.
Hydrogen: "Uses sucker punches as only form of anaesthetic, raped me with his drill fist, which by the way is even less hygienic than you'd think. Really good fluoride flavors though (try the pina coolada!). Waiting room was tastefully decorated and lots of available parking. Three stars."
Natural and supernatural horrors mount on an expedition to an island music festival for the wealthy.
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.