I Have Returned From E3!
LA, how I miss you. Alas, yet another E3 has come and gone, and an article about the experience should be coming this weekend. Unfortunately while on this trip, I had a dangerously high whiskey to blood ratio, so I can scarcely remember most of what happened. Because of this, ninety percent of the upcoming article will be made up or be about the new Scooby Doo movie, so don't put too much faith in getting any "Exclusive coverage" of any "games." Also, I would like to take this time to apologize to the following people / organizations I encountered while drunk at E3...
The state of California
Helen Gunther advises you to read her advice!
Our newest columnist, Helen Gunther, has updated her site with her witty and intelligent answers to your inane and stupid questions! This week's column includes advice to fools in love, Jews in love, inconsiderate neighbors, and more. The advice she's doled out has made me the cherubish lad I am today, and she's now availble to help the public at the low, low price of your undying love. Her vast knowlege of all things related to various cheeses and pharmaceuticals is here for your benefit, so don't forget to mail her some more questions. Interrogate her like you're a crazy Catholic spaniard during the Spanish Inquisition - She loves that!
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.