Ah yes, the classic tale of love and loss: girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, girl suspects boy of cheating, girl asks boy to let her smell his dick to confirm her fears. A tale as timeless as love itself.
This is the official video for "Smell Yo Dick" by would-be R&B artist Riskay. Riskay, true to her name, isn't above doing risqué things like using her Bloodhound like senses to sniff out other girls pussy on her boyfriend's dick. Perhaps more impressive than that is that Riskay apparently thought this was a strong enough premise to warrant making a 3 and a half minute song and video.
The video starts with Riskay talking some trash into a phone, presumably to her boyfriend. From here, the video is pretty much a literal recreation of the lyrics minus, regrettably, the dick smelling part. Look, I'm as straight as they come, but if you're going to write, record and make a video for a song about smelling dicks, then by God you better smell some fucking dicks in the video; especially if the alternative is, as she puts it, pulling "out my 9" and presumably murdering him in cold blood. Sadly, this isn't portrayed in the video, either.
The real pièce de résistance, however, is her boyfriend's verse, in which he implies that if Riskay continues this line of questioning, he will punch her in the fucking face and then brags about his enormous cock.
Congratulations, Riskay and random fat black rapper dude, you deserve each other.
‘Toad coin?’ wondered the traveler as he examined the pebble. It did not look all that different from any other pebble, and certainly nothing like a coin. ‘What manner of coin has no head or tail, and bears no seal or flag? Who backs this toad coin, the toad bank? The toad treasury!?’ The traveler laughed, but the toads croaked sternly back at him.
Spending $10-15 a day on perishable organic dog food is not a sign of a decadent culture in terminal decline, it's actually real good and worth it.
No lifeguard on duty. Maze run at your own risk.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!