Today is a doubly great day. The swelling has diminished, allowing my legs to dangle over the bed. The ability to sit up makes me feel manly, a very important factor when leading a group of savages. Hired hands did not respect me spending my days in bed.
The other glorious news is in regard to the research. It seems some of my men are currently unearthing a piece of stone littered with pictorial inscriptions, similar to the Egyptian hieroglyphics. The workers seem uninterested due to the lack of gold, but this artifact may be an important key in my research. Hopefully the men will finish unearthing the stone before nightfall.
It took the primitive natives three days to unearth the stone, and another two days for the artist to mimic the inscription. I am beginning to doubt the practicality of these savages. The new artifact presents two warriors attacking each other. The death mask and this piece present a society in turmoil, but still no clues on what they were fighting for. An image presenting wealth, religion, or the rulers of this kingdom would be very helpful in deciding what finally lead to their extinction. I can smell the savages sneaking up. I must stop now before they overhear.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
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