Lowtax Has Been Hit By a Zamboni!
The dastardly culprit!Sad news today, folks! Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka, our fearless leader, was nearly killed when a zamboni ran him over. Lowtax was polished hard against a sheet of cold, merciless ice. But thankfully he survived! The disastrous incident occurred when Lowtax was visiting Salt Lake City to watch the closing of the Olympics. The mood apparently got to him, as he decided to rush the ice and flash KISS front man Gene Simmons. Unfortunately he jumped right out in front of a monstrous zamboni and suffered massive injuries that will plague him for the rest of his life. The doctors all say that Lowtax will live, but only to endure an endless amount of physical suffering! So hey, that's practically 100% chance of recovery! You can do it big guy! You beat the bus, now beat the zamboni! Hip hip hooray!
From his deathbed, he requested that the show go on and that I have his stereo. His stereo, and his record collection. He's very selfless that way.
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
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