You're fat, ugly, are wearing a t-shirt you bought at Wal-Mart, live in a shithole of an apartment, spend all your money on gaming shit, have FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED VIDEO BLOGS, judge other people's personalities based on how many vlogs they have, take offense to people suggesting that you seek out normal social interactions and at 30 years old, your only real accomplishments are "having a job" and "not living with your parents". You are a smarmy pseudo-intellectual who thinks a lot of himself and has a lot of undeserved pride. Yet, somehow, you are convinced that your opinions matter. You think that your 20 dollar web cam and YouTube account means that people finally care about you and that you are getting the respect you deserve. You think people who take offense to the way you conduct your life are "player haters".
Hey Moe! I've got Aspoigah's! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.Perhaps it's time for a good ol' AwfulVision Reality Check:
You are worthless. Utterly, utterly without merit, worth, or any impact on the world or people around you. You are nothing; an un-human; not even amounting to a blip on the radar of history. For all intents and purposes, you do not exist and never will. The world would be no different if you suffered a fatal heart attack and weren't found for 50 years (I am going to go out on a limb here and say that the smell of your rotting, bloated carcass wouldn't be enough of a change to alert anyone to your fate). There is a good chance that your own mother has forgotten squeezing you out of her rancid cunt.
You are an ICP album and a Ron Paul yard sign away from being everything I have come to hate in this world.
"fuck ur stupid i live in a mansion and you live in a fucken small house and get a life you fat ass"
"t2 your seriously a fucking loser man, you bitch about people's voices. i honestly dont know how you can expect respect from anyone."
"Personally I HATE people in general that certainly includes my family. The human race are arrogant, selfish, hateful assholes. Why in the hell would I or anyone else want to interact with such people? Intercourse? No thanks. Tried that was boring as hell.
I'm better off on my own. I can go anywhere, do what I like and not have to listen to people bitch cause its not the way they envision how I SHOULD live my life."
It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!