This article is part of the BarkWire.com series.





Space Cult

Age: Unknown
Breed:
German Wirehaired Pointer
Location:
Shaggy Butte
Gender:
Male
Relationship Status:
Open
Followers:
1,242

Posted by DogDreamer 24 days ago

I'm not saying I'm a follower of Space Cult, but as far as dogs go, he is really great at conveying a sense of calm and peace. So many dogs are just happy to be near him, and it's kind of reassuring. Normally dogs here are very territorial, but it's not uncommon to see 40 or even 50 dogs all peacefully resting around him in a circular formation. It's a welcome sight if you ask me.

Posted by Pawlease 22 days ago

Champion of peace? He's the equivalent of a draft dodger. He did nothing during the Elmwood Park Massacre, and that's why we now live in fear of Meathook and his pack of murderous mutts.

I feel like he should be executed as punishment. Dogs belong on one side of the fence, and not on it. They're not goats. They can't just stand on fences and not pick sides. This is the primary reason we keep dogs as pets and eat goats.

A lot of blood was shed. If you ask me, this Space Cult is a phony.

Posted by TreatGuy 21 days ago

There's been a definite increase in the amount of albino dogs around town. I'm not saying Space Cult is to blame, but the fact that all of them are following Space Cult wherever he goes seems like an awfully big coincidence. So far, they're playing it safe, but I'm ready for them. As much as I love dogs, I believe we're headed for an inevitable war pitting all humans against all dogs. It's going to be our ability to fire guns and climb ladders that saves us, and I've been practicing both daily.

Posted by DogGoneIt 19 days ago

This dog's owner has some STUPIDLY OUTRAGEOUS BELIEFS. I'm talking real looney tunes nonsense here. He's some hippy idiot with long dreadlocks who wears shorts all the time and has no sleeves to speak of, even in the winter. You know, that moron that always has the gnarly walking stick, even indoors? That's him. He said he doesn't own Space Cult, that ownership society is a myth and that he's just as much a follower of the dog. Ridiculously stupid stuff, I know. But it's when he really took the time to explain it all to me that it all made PERFECT SENSE. Like, amazingly perfect sense, not just about Space Cult, but like all of life and the universe. I'm on board.

Posted by Angelic_Groomer 14 days ago

I don't approve of Space Cult's "open" lifestyle. He's been involved with multiple female dogs in a very short span of time. One more reason we should have passed the mandatory dog monogamy ballot measure a few years ago. He may have a beautiful beard and irresistible rugged Aryan features, but he's a two-timing charlatan. Yet another dog I would not waste my amazing gifts for beautification on.

Posted by ELMO STEPHENS 10 days ago

HE'S A VERY GOOD DOG AND HE'S VERY SMART. MOST DOGS JUST SAY BARK, BARK, BARK, ROOF, ROOF, ROOF. I LIKE WHAT HE SAYS AND HE'S NOT LIKE OTHER DOGS. HE SAYS THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR ME. THANK YOU DOGGY. I AM READY.

ELMO STEPHENS

Posted by CaninersFan 2 days ago.

It may be a good thing that Hope was just killed. I was surprised to see her among the white-furred followers not more than a few weeks ago. I think she may have just been confused. Either way she's lucky to not have fallen into bed with Space Cult like so many people in this town have. I wish he'd just take his weird followers and leave us in peace.

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About this series

The seedy canine underworld of Shaggy Butte is explored in this hard-hitting series combining obsessive pet fanatics and crowd-sourced internet reviews.

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