The world of today is one of uncertainty and explosions. In times such as these, we can seek comfort by looking back on the world of the past, when our great grandfathers raced balloons around the world and spent their days constantly adjusting pocket watches and monocles. Their world was far from perfect, but in many ways it was a good deal more carefree than ours. To help refresh your memory of what those times were like, I present to you another page from my family's aged mail order catalog series. These catalogs once served a great many people, bringing important items by mail to the rural farms and cabins of old, before being driven out of business by greed, insanity, and the harsh onslaught of science and reason.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
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