REASONS TO BE SCREAMING

somebody put a person
into flesh and bone
maybe with a dot com,
or at least a popular twitter
and the klout to prove it
and the steam
sales
and the crowd
sources
and everybody poses
for pictures for themselves
we're losing it
to bitcoin trades
and Japanese printed dolls
that look just like
you
without the person

we're not doing it
anymore:
we are all stuck
to wires
and cat videos.

Until you turn away
and it's blood for miles
and
fire.

Can I have your tf2 hats?


More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • GLUT OF DOGS

    GLUT OF DOGS

    TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851

  • THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    THE PERFECT HUMAN FORM

    Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.