As writ down in ancient times of 1997 by the Prophets of Misfortune, the Scroll of Unfortunate Prophecy is always correct. No desperate prayer or mighty battle shall ever change the future foretold in this one very, very, unfortunate text.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
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