I just dragged an ancient backwater to the atomic era. Do you think nine hours of sleep really matters in that context?

How can you claim that this sort of game is bad for me? It’s like saying someone can overdose on Ken Burns documentaries.

When Gandhi went on a hunger strike everyone called him a hero, but when I forget to eat for an entire weekend while playing as Gandhi I’m a loser?Double standards much?

How can we defeat ISIS if I can’t get a religious victory over the Aztecs?

Just to be clear, last night I was watching people play on Twitch. That's like a video game AA meeting.

If you really care about my wellbeing, why didn’t you stop me from getting a political science degree? I mean, if you think playing a game like this is a bad for me then don’t ever examine the irreparable financial damage my major has caused.

I just conquered the known world on Deity. What the hell have you done lately?

You know what? A ton of people sit in a chair for days on end and I don’t see you questioning their motives. Like, are you going to start telling everyone in a wheelchair that they have an issue?

You put me in public school, so the Civ series has to make up for all those years of subpar history. Please don’t take this away from me, too.

You think I have an addiction? Fine. I’m on heroin. Just doing the drugs. Thanks for the intervention. I guess the next step is to go cold turkey by staring at my computer screen for eight straight hours.

Do you think paying attention to real life politics would be better? Would following the Donald be more worthwhile? Should I read up on Putin? This is all we got, baby.

I’ve said it a thousand times: “I can quit at any time, it’s just that right now I’m about to complete something a little more complex than you might realize, but as soon as that happens I’ll probably just go one more turn to set up the next complex thing, but then I think I can quit at that time. Maybe.”

Yes, I haven’t slept in fifty hours, but you have to agree that I can sing a pitch perfect Scarborough Fair.

This is Sid Meier's world, I’m just building wonders in it.

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2016 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.