1300 Breakwynn Rd.
Hermanville, CA 93112
December 12, 2007
Millman’s Baked Good Products Inc
4885 Highland Park
Chicago, IL 60609
Dear Mr. Hoagland,
I am writing about your posting for a receptionist at your corporate office. I hope to make clear with this letter both my enthusiasm and expertise for recepting. You could say I am “receptive” to this job offer and that I really “need it”.
I have recently graduated from college where they gave me two diplomas because I did such a good job. I’ve maintained a GPA of at least a 7.8 since kindergarten. I have extensive volunteer experience from giving people my blood on the street whenever they needed it through a needle and tube kit I keep with me at all times. My touch has been known to heal.
My biggest weakness is that everywhere I go massive amounts of money fall from the sky and into the arms of me and everyone around me, and sometimes this can cause injury if too much money falls on the person. But then I touch them and they are ok.
I am probably one of the top five smartest people in the world, but I don’t mind using all of that genius just to be receptionist at your company, and I’ll never leave even if a higher paid position is offered because I have brand loyalty.
Please give me this job. Please.
Donald Trump is constantly being compared to infamous political figures and villains from movies. Finally, the correct comparison is here.
Now that Bob Dylan has won the Nobel Prize in literature, hopefully these other great musicians will win the award in the future.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.