1300 Breakwynn Rd.
Hermanville, CA 93112
December 12, 2007
Millman’s Baked Good Products Inc
4885 Highland Park
Chicago, IL 60609
Dear Mr. Hoagland,
I am writing about your posting for a receptionist at your corporate office. I hope to make clear with this letter both my enthusiasm and expertise for recepting. You could say I am “receptive” to this job offer and that I really “need it”.
I have recently graduated from college where they gave me two diplomas because I did such a good job. I’ve maintained a GPA of at least a 7.8 since kindergarten. I have extensive volunteer experience from giving people my blood on the street whenever they needed it through a needle and tube kit I keep with me at all times. My touch has been known to heal.
My biggest weakness is that everywhere I go massive amounts of money fall from the sky and into the arms of me and everyone around me, and sometimes this can cause injury if too much money falls on the person. But then I touch them and they are ok.
I am probably one of the top five smartest people in the world, but I don’t mind using all of that genius just to be receptionist at your company, and I’ll never leave even if a higher paid position is offered because I have brand loyalty.
Please give me this job. Please.
More fake science from the mainstream scientists: Dr. Schrodinger claims cat is dead, but cat is alive and a dog.
Yeah, I went there. And I'll go there again. Don't believe me? I'm there ALREADY.
These all just look like normal cats to me.
From what I understand, this genre is about getting eaten by crocodiles. I excel at this.
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