| Robert Finch 1300 Breakwynn Rd. Hermanville, CA 93112 800-938-2888 December 23, 2007 Bill “Beefy” Stewart Head Janitor Hermanville Elementary School 699 Blue Jay Rd. Hermanville, CA 93112 Dear Mr. Beefy, I am writing regarding you telling me you need some people to help pick up after recess and lunch breaks. If you give me this job, I will give you my first paycheck. Thanks for your consideration. Robert Finch |
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This Week on Something Awful...
Would you eat a Skittle out of my mouth like a baby bird?
What if you were a cop and the Skittle was mentally disturbed and wanted to be eaten?
AGGREGATION OF DOGS
DOPPELGANGER NEEDED - To minimize stress to my dog, I'm looking for somebody who is identical to me to take over ownership. Must also be able to fool my wife. Call to set up interview. 555-8252
Hot Boyz
What do Gary Busey, Master P, Snoop Dogg, and Jeff Speakman have in common? We have no fucking idea.
An EDF Squad Explains the Plot of Earth Defense Force 4.1
I'll never forgive these giant alien insects! I'm trying!
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Laying The Foundation
- Barack Obama's Kindergarten Essay
- A Very Noiry Christmas
- These are the Proclamations of Captain H. W. Grieves
- Wikigroaning 3: Wikipedia Sucks and Here's the Citation
