A pleasant lunch on the beach for Batman and Robin turns into a pleasant lunch... of danger!
Batman: Why didn't he listen to my warnings? How could I fall asleep in the sand after we ate that macaroni salad? Why was he swimming in his costume? Whyyyy?
Crab: (crab sounds)
"The Worst Plan"
Detective Comics #134
When Batman's eagerness to try out a newly-acquired pair of giant guns gets the best of him, good intentions turn sour!
Robin: Shooting ourselves into orbit with giant guns... wow!
Batman: Yeah, pretty great, right? We'll be in France to stop the Joker's evil plan in no time!
Robin: So is someone waiting for us down there with a net or a mattress, or did you bring some parachutes?
Batman: Robin, there's something I must tell you.
Robin: Yes, Batman?
Batman: I'm invincible. It's been an honor working with you.
"Day Of The Homo-Ray"
Detective Comics 184
What strange man would harness the power of the rainbow, and for what insidious purpose?
Manman: By simply undoing my belt I have exposed you to the Homo-Ray!
Robin: Argh! I'm suddenly... tolerant of homosexuality!
Batman: NO! Fight it! Fight it with all of your strength, boy!
Robin: I'm trying! But these feelings of... hatred and... fear... are vanishing!
Batman: The cyanide, Robin. Now is the time.
"Batman And Robin Go To A Phish Concert"
What strange band would harness the power of a 45-minute cover of The Facts Of Life theme song, and for what insidious purpose?
Robin: Argh! I'm suddenly... tolerant of hackeysack!
Batman: NO! Those cyanide pills that man gave us, Robin. I think they must have gone bad! I think... I think gravity is much too weak here! Someone hold me down!
"Bruce Wayne's Father Fills In"
Detective Comics #620
When Bruce Wayne is called away on an urgent business trip to Egypt for two weeks, a replacement Batman must be found lest his secret identity be discovered.
Batman: Thanks for doing this, Dad. I was a little worried you wouldn't fit into the costume, but if anything it's a little big on you.
Batman: Again with the vase. I was five years old, God damn you!
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.