Video game "enthusiasts" all across the Internet are in quite the tizzy right now over the prospect of getting a brand new video game console to waste their time with. In case you missed all the E3 announcements, here's a quick summary of the next generation video game consoles:
Microsoft Xbox 360 - It's like the original Xbox except it's not as big and it doesn't come with a hard drive and it has better graphics and it costs more money.
Sony Playstation 3 - It's the sequel to the Playstation 2 and the graphics are better and it's easier to yell at kids online with it I guess. And it costs more money.
Nintendo Revolution - It has good graphics and there will probably be a game with Mario on it and you can play "Kabuki Quantum Fighter" for NES on it supposedly.
To tell you the truth, I don't know that much about consoles. I don't even own any of the current generation ones. So I thought I'd turn the discussion over to an expert: A Nerd in His Shoe. He will tell you what console is the best because he's a goddamn nerd in his shoe!!
Watch Nerdshoe: Console Wars 2. It's a flash movie, so that means it makes horrible noises.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.