Fans of football enjoy the pigskin action on the grid iron, but we all know why we really tune in: the amazing commercials. The football passing throws and halfback hikes are just filling time between the commercials. If you tuned in to the Ravens and 49ers game expecting some great ads, this year's Super Bowl did not disappoint. We round up our 9 favorites.
The Pitch: A handsome life guard fights off a shark and saves a bodacious babe, but no thanks in store for him, because here comes mister astronaut, a goofy nerd in an astronaut suit. SPLOOSH. Horny for astronuts? You better believe it.
The Pitch: Everybody wants an OREO brand chocolate and cream filled cookie and they can't decide which part of this is better, the molded chocolate fructose wafer or the delicious lard nugget paste compressed between them. It's a real madhouse up in this piece, yo!
The Pitch: Football magic spells on recliner. Makes you think about beer, right? Sexy babes and voodoo black men. Get a beer for your mouth, horny magic man. FOOTBALL!
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
Lean in close to your screen. Inhale deeply. Does this guide give off a cloyingly sour odor? Then it is likely the genuine article.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.