Fans of football enjoy the pigskin action on the grid iron, but we all know why we really tune in: the amazing commercials. The football passing throws and halfback hikes are just filling time between the commercials. If you tuned in to the Ravens and 49ers game expecting some great ads, this year's Super Bowl did not disappoint. We round up our 9 favorites.
The Pitch: A handsome life guard fights off a shark and saves a bodacious babe, but no thanks in store for him, because here comes mister astronaut, a goofy nerd in an astronaut suit. SPLOOSH. Horny for astronuts? You better believe it.
The Pitch: Everybody wants an OREO brand chocolate and cream filled cookie and they can't decide which part of this is better, the molded chocolate fructose wafer or the delicious lard nugget paste compressed between them. It's a real madhouse up in this piece, yo!
The Pitch: Football magic spells on recliner. Makes you think about beer, right? Sexy babes and voodoo black men. Get a beer for your mouth, horny magic man. FOOTBALL!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.