The Pitch: Baby talks tough about stocks. Put your money on a computer and let a baby do it. Why not? Fuck it. Here baby. Download some apps for my droids. Got to invest in this touchdown. Good sellllll!
The Pitch: Never heard of this. Brand impression apple but tough apple. Brand concept memorized. See bottle and drink apple, but tough apple not pussy gay apple. Macbook.
The Pitch: From the cloud. The worm eating its own tail. Doritos are top tier snack brand. Monetize corns. Salt. Flavor dust. More salt. Give anything for Doritos. Way to ad for free, slaves.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.