The Pitch: Baby talks tough about stocks. Put your money on a computer and let a baby do it. Why not? Fuck it. Here baby. Download some apps for my droids. Got to invest in this touchdown. Good sellllll!
The Pitch: Never heard of this. Brand impression apple but tough apple. Brand concept memorized. See bottle and drink apple, but tough apple not pussy gay apple. Macbook.
The Pitch: From the cloud. The worm eating its own tail. Doritos are top tier snack brand. Monetize corns. Salt. Flavor dust. More salt. Give anything for Doritos. Way to ad for free, slaves.
Welcome to Gamer Hell, where those who committed sins in online games must pay for their crimes against noobs for eternity.
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sworn to personally investigate the murder of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. In fact, Putin plans to use his expertise to solve most major crimes.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.