This is Not an Update
Chicago here I come! I'm sticking to my guns and not doing an update today, but I've asked my good friend Doctor Draw to come in and show off a couple of his new comics. They are insightful and hilarious and considering I'm taking the first step towards a family his hilarious observations about family life are particularly appropriate. Except for that Mister Turtle comic of his, that highbrow humor just goes right over my head.
It took me ten hours to draw this picture because I couldn't get the flower right, but I think that effort was worth it!
Mister Turtle is my fondest creature friend in the woods.
The tragedies of America in September were near and dear to me because I once bought a pen when I visited the Nebraska Trade Building. NTB is like OTB which stands for "Off Track Betting".
Thanks for helping me out Doctor Draw, you're a life saver!
Jeff K Takes a Look at E3
Since good old Jeff K wasn't sent to this year's E3 by nVidia, he has taken the liberty of attending the brand new and exciting E9, which is E3 x 3 which means it's three times better than the E3. Check out the absolute hottest games to be (not) seen!
Thes game looks too certainely be teh feelgood sensatian of 2001 for sure! In "ESCAPE FROM TEH PLANAT OF ALIEN MONSTARS (YOU CANNOT ESCAPE OR EVAR WIN!)" yuo palay teh part of a human named "Mr. Bullet Gun Stabwounds" who si traped on an alian robot planat of teh creataears. Yuo must use cunning strenth to defeat teh hoareds of zombies and figare out complex puzzles which bend yuor mind liek a spoon in heat. In one level there si a door but it dosant open and yuo cants blow it open becuase yuor gun si made of (YOU DONT HAEV ANY GUN!!!) and yuo must figare out this compelex puzzal to gain yuor freedom! aftar palaying it for 50 minutes I found a switch yuo must pull and taht opens the door! What a puzzal!
He has scooped everyone with so much inside information that even the game developers themselves don't have it! Head on over and get so many scoops that you eventually scoop yourself!
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.