"Look at how far I can put my head out the window! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Loo--"
"A lifetime of chasing cars, and what should finally catch me? O, cruel irony!"
- Marcel DuChomp
"My one regret is that I never caught a gopher. Oh, and my other regret is that you cut my testicles off."
[Sings Star Wars cantina music]
"Even now I curse the day-- and yet, I think, few come within the compass of my curse-- wherein I did not some notorious ill, as bite a man, or else devise his biting; ravage a leg, or plot the way to do it; accuse some cat and forswear myself... Tut, I have done a thousand dreadful things, as willingly as one would kill a fly, and nothing grieves me heartily indeed but that I cannot do ten thousand more."
"Et tu, Spunky?"
And now, as you finally offer me all the biscuits and people food you have deprived me of these long years, I find I have no taste for such things. Please leave me to die alone.
"I'm not playing this time!"
"Embrace me, Dog Jesus! I'm ready for your kingdom!"
- John 1:14
"Suspect is fleeing north on foot. I did what I can. See this through. Don't let him get away."
- Officer Welsh, K9 Unit
"Jingle your keys, old boy. Just once more for a dying friend. Let the sound I loved so well sing me to my rest."
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.