"I am the last of my breed, and with me dies the secret of a language more ancient than time itself, and also the secret of where the remote is buried."
"I'm sorry for barking so much and asking for walkies. I never meant to be a bother."
"No regrets, bro. Had every woman I wanted, every biscuit I could handle and buried some damn fine bones."
"Before y'all do this, I just want to say one thing: to the McDevitt family, I'm real sorry for your loss. I see Mrs. McDevitt there in the audience-- Lucille, I don't know who it was that killed Boomer, but it wasn't me. I'm innocent. I hope this brings y'all some closure all the same. I've made my peace with God, and I hope you can make your peace with what's happening here today. That's all. OK, warden, I'm ready."
"Will I still have heartworms in heaven?"
"I don't blame you."
"I have dug a million holes in the darkest of earth. I fear not what comes next... unless it's another goddamn vacuum cleaner."
"Old master always bade me to speak, bade me to fetch. New master lift me on high, bid me to see old master for what he be. Wicked old master."
"Are you sad? Why are you sad? Don't be sad. Don't be sad."
"One last cruel indignity awaits as reward for a life spent supping on the scraps of giants. Come forth, Death, for I intend to gnaw your bones through and through."
'We’re going to be in trouble!' Little Sister wailed, clutching her favorite book to her chest and sobbing. 'This isn’t fun like a story anymore!' But Big Sister was not listening, she was thinking. She grabbed Little Sister’s book from her and ran into town, yelling 'Help! A book made me and my sister hurt someone!'