Hi, I'm Bronson Custard and I want to welcome you to the hottest escort review site on the Internet. Our reviews are all written by the clients of these fine ladies. If you're looking for a companion in your area and don't feel you can trust the reviews of professional escort critics, then you've come to the right place!
We have thousands of escort profiles available, so I'm sure you will find just what you're looking for! Remember, have fun, and be safe!
 Rating:   | Names: Beef Singlet, Bacon Lettuce, Her Majesty Dire Areas: Cleveland, Burningham, West Maw Height: 71 inches Weight: 864 ounces Hair: Head, mostly Face: British, mantid Eyes: Brown, tilted Bust: Some around the edges Specialties:
|
User Comments
| User | Recommend | Experience |
| thasniffer | YES | Great smells! Touched my hand and breathed in a bag for hours. Like a rat rotting in an oak barrel. Came twice! Loves to talk about meth. |
| megamex | YES | She's not the best looking girl, but she makes up for what she lacks in looks with a chittering blowjob that never snagged once despite all the hooked teeth. Puked into my glove compartment. |
| KINGSEX | NO | Look like someone tried to make a mask out of an egg. Toes up the back. "FROG IT IT!" |
| thrillho | YES | Great kisser. Shared her breakfast. |
| japan_travels | YES | Very astute. Only high enough. Entry complete and fulfillment. Do not ever give up. |
| partyguy1 | NO | Brought her baby and he stared at me the whole time. No thanks! |
 Rating: | Names: Charity Dotorg, America Dotus Areas: Detroit, Slimer's Manse, The Pickle Barrel Height: 5'14"8"'11"" Weight: Reasonable Hair: Brown Face: Red, pitted Eyes: Closed Bust: Small, pointy, slightly cold Specialties:
|
User Comments
| User | Recommend | Experience |
| KINGSEX | NO | Couldn't stop laughing the whole time she was rubbing her butt on me. Like a giant chocolate hamburger trying to eat me. "FROG IT IT!" |
| rob_gurt | YES | Very polite. Clean as can be expected. My wife really enjoyed looking at her butt through the one way mirror. |
| thasniffer | YES | Tequila shooters with a tangy wiff of bile. Very generous with the wrestling and the butt. |
| japan_travels | YES | Dave Matthew band lover. Share the sound and share the entry into cove. Explodes three time. Butt. Not so messy. |
| Chuck | YES | Hey guys, what's going on. Would really like to meet this girl and hold her hand. I'm working on a poem to woo her. Any help appreciated. |
This Week on Something Awful...
SkyMall Product Reviews: Peacock Goddess Sculpture
This is the crown jewel of my erotic lamp collection, and a must-have for any serious pleasure lamp collector.
The Men Must Pay for What They Did to the Footballs
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
Convincing People to Buy Mediocre Games, PAINTBALL MAX'D
This ain't your daddy's globe...! .... or is it?!
Super Bowl Ready TV Sports Graphics!
*Galaxies and stars explode, revealing the Sports Center logo as the center of the new universe.*
Make Sitcoms Worse!
'Sitcoms are so bad that they couldn't GET any worse haha.' 'Whoa buddy you're wrong... dead wrong!'
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- Karl Pilkington: A Really Dumb Guy You Should Know About
- The Gerstmann Quandary
- Something Awful Endorses a Candidate
- F This Cat
- ADVENTURE PALACE
