Bronson Custard's Exotic Escort Reviews

Monday, Dec 10, 2007 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

Hi, I'm Bronson Custard and I want to welcome you to the hottest escort review site on the Internet. Our reviews are all written by the clients of these fine ladies. If you're looking for a companion in your area and don't feel you can trust the reviews of professional escort critics, then you've come to the right place!

We have thousands of escort profiles available, so I'm sure you will find just what you're looking for! Remember, have fun, and be safe!

Rating:

Names: Beef Singlet, Bacon Lettuce, Her Majesty Dire
Areas: Cleveland, Burningham, West Maw
Height: 71 inches
Weight: 864 ounces
Hair: Head, mostly
Face: British, mantid
Eyes: Brown, tilted
Bust: Some around the edges

Specialties:

BJ/HJ
Shoulder dislocation
Beaking

User Comments

User	Recommend	Experience
thasniffer	YES	Great smells! Touched my hand and breathed in a bag for hours. Like a rat rotting in an oak barrel. Came twice! Loves to talk about meth.
megamex	YES	She's not the best looking girl, but she makes up for what she lacks in looks with a chittering blowjob that never snagged once despite all the hooked teeth. Puked into my glove compartment.
KINGSEX	NO	Look like someone tried to make a mask out of an egg. Toes up the back. "FROG IT IT!"
thrillho	YES	Great kisser. Shared her breakfast.
japan_travels	YES	Very astute. Only high enough. Entry complete and fulfillment. Do not ever give up.
partyguy1	NO	Brought her baby and he stared at me the whole time. No thanks!

Rating:

Names: Charity Dotorg, America Dotus
Areas: Detroit, Slimer's Manse, The Pickle Barrel
Height: 5'14"8"'11""
Weight: Reasonable
Hair: Brown
Face: Red, pitted
Eyes: Closed
Bust: Small, pointy, slightly cold

Specialties:

Rustling
Wrestling
Butt

User Comments

User	Recommend	Experience
KINGSEX	NO	Couldn't stop laughing the whole time she was rubbing her butt on me. Like a giant chocolate hamburger trying to eat me. "FROG IT IT!"
rob_gurt	YES	Very polite. Clean as can be expected. My wife really enjoyed looking at her butt through the one way mirror.
thasniffer	YES	Tequila shooters with a tangy wiff of bile. Very generous with the wrestling and the butt.
japan_travels	YES	Dave Matthew band lover. Share the sound and share the entry into cove. Explodes three time. Butt. Not so messy.
Chuck	YES	Hey guys, what's going on. Would really like to meet this girl and hold her hand. I'm working on a poem to woo her. Any help appreciated.

Previous More Front Page News Next

This Week on Something Awful...

This Dumbass Terminator in My Gun Store Thinks It's "Assault Rifle 15"
04-20-2018 by Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons
This libtard terminator keeps asking for guns that don't exist and I may have to close early out of frustration.
Barbara Bush: 19??-2018
04-19-2018 by Obituary Corner
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.