Wow, what can I say? Thank you, to begin with. Thank you for sharing this with me.
I didn't think anybody could do it. I didn't even know it was possible. I thought to myself, "Texas? Nope. Oregon? Nope, dang. I give up." But you didn't, Facebook buddy. You went for it. Iowa. I checked twice and there is no letter "E" in it is name. Alright.
But you didn't stop there, did you? I wish I had known how smart you were when we talked for maybe ten minutes, tops, when we were in middle school. Now that we're adults I realize you were a quiet Einstein. The state thing sealed it up. The heroic proof of your genius was right there for anybody to see, but you were not about to rest on your laurels. You decided to walk into the classroom while the math professor was gone and solve another impossible equation.
The professor walks in and sees all the numbers and variables end up with ORLANDO. He can't believe it! Why didn't he think of that? Because he's not possessed of a singular genius like you. Our brains weren't even prepared for this advanced level of knowledge.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.