This article is part of the Instruction for a Help series.
Deep until heart of earth warm a bodie up.
Wait for me Red Friend.
I cling to crack in a rock.
I rest on deep water meat forgot.
Sleep now, Red Friend.
Sleep now, until I sing again in the juice of the world.
Read how the other side endured in Words From Below.
All the amazing predictions from The Simpsons that finally came true in 2016.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.