"Miracle" Lamb Loose in Vatican ArchivesChristian Science Frightener - September 24th, 2029
Internet Videos Record "Flying People"Blogosphere - September 24th, 2029
Guns & Thugs
Rappers Rescind Thanks for God, JesusAtlantic - September 25th, 2029
Robertson: "God Will Burn in Hell"Foxwire - September 26th, 2029
Abaddon to Appear on Larry KingCNN - September 27th, 2029
Our King Media
Amazing Whale Delights OnlookersMobile Beacon - September 27th, 2029
AARP Locks 13-Horns with Biggie Smalls Over Social Security PlanMiami Herald - September 27th, 2029
God Arrives on EarthAP - September 28th, 2029
Our Ex-King Media
Unholy 13-Horned Whale ResignsWashington Post - September 28th, 2029
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.