Graduation ceremonies are convoluted, pointless, and boring, and that’s just for the people getting diplomas. The two+ hour events are almost unbearable for anyone stuck in the audience. No one likes these things. Your siblings were guilted to attend, your parents paid for it, and your grandparents don’t know what they’re doing anymore, but someone dragged them out of the home anyway. If you’re stuck in the audience, print out this handy activity sheet (inspired by third grade teachers from across the world) and try to have some fun.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
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