This article is part of the Groggery Gibbonman series.

Of the many ghoulish ghost stories penned by Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman, certainly none were better received than "The Figure in the Fireplace," a chilling verse first published in serialized form on the back of numerous medicine-show products released under the "Sergio Cal's Mystic Pastes of the Far East" line. The hocus-pocus medicines ultimately proved unpopular due to radiation poisoning, but the hallowed rime remains!

– Ian "BFM" Helm

More Front Page News

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

About this series

During the tumultuous Jacquelinian era, no fabulist or faerie-tailor was more esteemed than Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman.

Other articles in this series

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.