This article is part of the Groggery Gibbonman series.
Of the many ghoulish ghost stories penned by Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman, certainly none were better received than "The Figure in the Fireplace," a chilling verse first published in serialized form on the back of numerous medicine-show products released under the "Sergio Cal's Mystic Pastes of the Far East" line. The hocus-pocus medicines ultimately proved unpopular due to radiation poisoning, but the hallowed rime remains!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
During the tumultuous Jacquelinian era, no fabulist or faerie-tailor was more esteemed than Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman.