Command has confirmed that the aircraft responsible for the unprovoked attack on our capital city belong to Rustovokia. The Rustovokians have also launched an all-out ground and naval offensive against our forces in the east.
Peacemaria's air force has consolidated on the Island of Canatania to the south, but before we can launch a counterattack against Rustovokia we must assist our forces retreating from the city.
Command has located King Goodman fleeing from the city in his exceptionally slow and fragile royal limousine. The monarch and his family must be protected at all costs.
You are to provide air cover for the royal family as they proceed southwest towards the evacuation point to Canatania. You will be heavily outnumbered, so your wingman will assist you by flying nearby and yelling over the radio every time you shoot a missile.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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