U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
Transportation Security Administration
Supplemental Aviation Security Directive
To fix our previous supplemental security directive that some jerks leaked on their blogger net we have come up with some triple, super, extra advanced security techniques that are sure to put a stop to all terrorist attempts.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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