U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
Transportation Security Administration
Supplemental Aviation Security Directive
To fix our previous supplemental security directive that some jerks leaked on their blogger net we have come up with some triple, super, extra advanced security techniques that are sure to put a stop to all terrorist attempts.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.