U.S DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
Transportation Security Administration
Supplemental Aviation Security Directive
To fix our previous supplemental security directive that some jerks leaked on their blogger net we have come up with some triple, super, extra advanced security techniques that are sure to put a stop to all terrorist attempts.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.