John McCain spoke last week about his vision for the future of America. The centerpiece of his speech was the year 2013, conveniently just after the re-election campaign. McCain listed a bunch of amazing things that would happen in that year, from Osama Bin Laden's capture to victory in Iraq. The speech was timed to coincide with the release of a complimentary commercial:
I have a friend who works on the McCain campaign. After a long conversation about the improbable dreams of Senator McCain he provided me with an earlier roughcut of the commercial. They call it the "Lost Bearings Mix", but I was fascinated by the promises made in this alternate take.
I don't know how he's going to pull it off, but if John McCain can helicopter my hair and give me a lotto win then he has my vote.
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
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