John McCain spoke last week about his vision for the future of America. The centerpiece of his speech was the year 2013, conveniently just after the re-election campaign. McCain listed a bunch of amazing things that would happen in that year, from Osama Bin Laden's capture to victory in Iraq. The speech was timed to coincide with the release of a complimentary commercial:
I have a friend who works on the McCain campaign. After a long conversation about the improbable dreams of Senator McCain he provided me with an earlier roughcut of the commercial. They call it the "Lost Bearings Mix", but I was fascinated by the promises made in this alternate take.
I don't know how he's going to pull it off, but if John McCain can helicopter my hair and give me a lotto win then he has my vote.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
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