John McCain spoke last week about his vision for the future of America. The centerpiece of his speech was the year 2013, conveniently just after the re-election campaign. McCain listed a bunch of amazing things that would happen in that year, from Osama Bin Laden's capture to victory in Iraq. The speech was timed to coincide with the release of a complimentary commercial:
I have a friend who works on the McCain campaign. After a long conversation about the improbable dreams of Senator McCain he provided me with an earlier roughcut of the commercial. They call it the "Lost Bearings Mix", but I was fascinated by the promises made in this alternate take.
I don't know how he's going to pull it off, but if John McCain can helicopter my hair and give me a lotto win then he has my vote.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
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