The dark spirits are strong in this Weekend Web. The devil has sent us a horrific forum full of sad emo kids who can't stop posting on the Internet. They get boners for posing for pictures in graveyards while normal people try to visit the graves of their loved ones. Gothic.net is where they congregate and think of new graveyards to pose in. Let's take a look at the dark secrets in their hearts that pulsate like the fiery depths of hell.

I guess there isn't a lot to do in Indiana but be goth and write bad poetry.


If this isn't a textbook definition of a goth then I don't know what is.


My fingernails scratch the side of my intestines and I poop blood and it's soooo... dark.


Underage alcoholic found.


Eh, it's what America gets. If you hug a tiger you're going to get your face scratched off. And if you put your hand in a blender you're going to get a hand smoothie. And if you pull a trigger with a gun pointed at your leg you will suffer a non-fatal wound. Dumb Americans don't even understand that when you cause something to happen there will be an effect. Let me roll off a few examples to show how much I understand this concept.


The lack of castles in my life causes me to hate myself.


I was going to ask what a pirate-zombie-cyborg-pigeon is and how it fits in with Hitler but then I remembered that I was looking at a ridiculous goth forum.


More The Weekend Web

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.