Howdy, guys! Once again Evan "Too Lazy To Walk To The Mailbox To Pick Up His Foodstamps" Wade is out, so I'm taking over! We've got three great forums to look at this week, and because Evan can't get off his ass to touch a keyboard we're going to feature them right on the front page! And if you whine I'll butcher your best friend right in front of your lidless little eyes!
If there's one thing we all love it's a deal. We also love a bunch of obsessed weirdos getting together to jerk off over discounted junk! Welcome to Mega Deals Dot Savings, everyone!
Looks like "$$ Cash Bailey $$" needs to find a good deal on Xanax.
Welp, that's it. Can't buy anything better than that. Better wrap it up and take it home, Macy's - you just got served.
Even in the land of discounts justice is swift and merciless.
"Mealymoney" comes out swinging with possibly the best post ever written.
The Name Your Baby! forums were designed with young, expecting mothers in mind. Ever seen an Aldi parking lot? Imagine that on the internet only slightly less literate and you have this crowd.
I was thinking more along the lines of "Koont Doomasia" but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Too bad none of those earthquakes killed her Internet connection.
Imagine that the baby actually wrote the post and it makes it so much better.
Shit, I was thinking it was "euthanasia".
Not in these forward-thinking times, it isn't!
Our friends over at TurtleTreasures recently got a server upgrade. They're still cracking turtles open to look for treasure in their shells, and they're still the creepiest bunch of hobbyists this side of of those creepy "Mormons". Ewwwwwwwww.
"HMX_TurtleMan" proves, once again, why he rules the roost.
What? Someone disillusioned with cracking turtles open to get rich? Why I never!
Quite the theory you got there.
This is pretty much the biggest burn in the history of the Internet.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.