The Lordy Award for Derivativeness in Fantasy
The Seeker: The Dark is Rising - Oct 5, 2007
It looks like an episode of Gilmore Girls, but the word on the street is this attempt at a new fantasy adaptation franchise is more than that. It's about a magical child, a battle between good and evil, saving the world, and terrifying monsters. Could there be orcs? Could there be a wizard's school? The wise among us will never know.
The Pyscho II Award for Unnecessariness in a Sequel
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Oct 12, 2007Are you fucking kidding me? They got Cate Blanchett to come back to play Queen Elizabeth again nine years after the first movie? Wonderful, and it's only one year after a boring BBC miniseries about Queen Elizabeth that won a shitload of awards. Don't you stupid British fucks have like 50 queens you could be doing movies about? PICK A DIFFERENT FUCKING QUEEN. Christ, do a movie about the band Queen. Anything.
The Tango & Cash Award for Inauspicious PairingsGone Baby Gone - Oct 19, 2007
Casey Affleck stars and Ben Affleck directs in this Boston crime drama. Do you feel that pounding in your chest? That's a heart palpitation. Try not to let the excitement overwhelm you. On the plus side, there is no possible way this movie could actually be worse than my imagination.
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.