Gutentag, meine damen und herren.
Today is a somber day for the Reich. It is the day we honor our brave men und women in uniform who have fallen in combat. These proud Nazi warriors have given all they have to the cause and to the Fatherland. We remember their names, their heroism, and their deeds. We honor their service to our great nation.
Cut down in his prime by an American wielding a bowl of poisoned dates. Though he was not human, phrenology doctors assure us he was the most Aryan of the small monkeys.
Soldaten Ricki Heiserhaufer, Louis Gossetjunior, und Jens Ironeggo Sekritluftwaffetruppen
Butchered while simply getting out of a truck. They were summoned by alarms to the secret airport for the secret plane, but a crazy American woman was in the secret plane's machine gun turret. She gunned these three brave Aryans down without a moment's hesitation.
Soldaten Klaus Pissenbottle
Klaus was able to leap from the truck and avoid instantaneous death by machine gun. Unfortunately, before he could bring his machine pistol to bear on the crazy American woman he was cut down in cold blood. He left behind a stout wife and nine eerily identical blond children.
Soldaten Heinrich Jakobs
Saw his fellow men machine gunned to death by the American woman and still had the courage to stand in the open. He was rewarded for his bravery with the Iron Cross 2nd Class and a trip to Valhalla.