On the chart of male relationships, nestled somewhere among dad, dad's friend, friend's dad, new dad, trucker, and old guy that is somehow your friend lies the human coach. A prestigious posting, shrouded in mystery yet revered by all mankind. That is, until today.
A bogus coach with equally fake checks who scammed three McDonalds restaurants last week is being sought by state police.
The scheme has been used at three McDonalds stores, in Grove City, Titusville and Warren, police said.
The man, driving a "school styled" bus on Friday entered the Warren restaurant claiming he was a basketball coach. He ordered $50 worth of food for his team, police said.
He paid for the order with a $150 check and got his change in cash.
The check had been provided by "the school district," police said. But the draft was, in fact, not valid.
Our collective trust has been again broken by a disingenuous scalawag who thinks coaching is a joke, a toy to be played with. It's time once more to go over the RealCoach list of coach basics.
If you encounter a fake coach, do NOT attempt to lull the fake coach into a false sense of security by hustling at whatever it is you are currently doing. This will only serve to enrage the coach. Find cover, but do not attempt to light signal fires. Wait patiently for assistance or for a bell to ring.
This is your typical consumer model throne. If you just want a cheap prop, it's fine. If you want to actually sit like a king, pony up the cash and get yourself a prosumer model. This entry level stuff is more for a duke or baron at best.
Do you wish to know what computers will be doing in the year to come? With a sigh I shall exert the minimal effort it takes to reveal all. Feel free to print out these predictions and share them with your friends via fax.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.