Drewfus: I hear about all this sexism and objectifying women and I don't even get it, bro.
HaloDog69: Straight up, what is wrong with being an object? Like a robot? Like Optimus Prime? What, you think you're better than Optimus Prime?
Drewfus: And then they act like they don't like sexy and booth babes and stuff and then they do Cammy cosplay at PAXEast???? WTF? Make up your mind, bitches.
HaloDog69: Mixed signals, bro.
Drewfus: And then they've got the nerve to make documentaries and play Call of Duty like, "uhhhh sit down wonder woman, the call of duty can only be answered if you've got a working goo bag."
HaloDog69: Truly. Some stuff just takes balls.
Drewfus: Yeah, like the balls I got ready to rock looking at Raging Raven's Ripe Rump.
HaloDog69: Oh no doubt I have been dropping loads all over the last ten minutes. Underneath my computer desk looks like somebody murdered an android.
Drewfus: For real I am glad I'm not the only one. I had to put in an IV to keep fluid in me.
HaloDog69: I've got to go home early today to pick up gatorades at the store.
Drewfus: You want to call it?
HaloDog69: Like ten more seconds.
Drewfus: Thank you for voting in this year's ultimate game bros sexy butt pole. Our next pole will be hottest camel toes in mario games. Voting starts on Monday.
|Zack is the author of the new short story collection Wages: Future Tales of a Hired Gun, a blood-soaked satire of private military contracting. He is also the author of the genre-hopping novel Liminal States, soon to be available as an audiobook. You can find out more about Zack's latest projects and special offers on his Facebook page.|
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.