Keep DreamingThe summer can be miserable unless you know what to do. Unfortunately, most people would rather spend their days inside rather than think of something exciting. To help you get the most out of your summer, I have compiled a list of my favorite activities along with pros, cons, and helpful tips. And you thought programming your hentai website in C++ was exhilarating!
No matter how stubborn or picky you are there should be at least one thing on this list able to please your lazy ass. Alright, the sun is out, and your fun day is already wasting away. So set down whatever nerd things you're doing, put some pants on, and come outside.
Camping is a great way to rid yourself of time wasting habits. Instead of sitting in front of a computer, you can start sitting in front of a campfire. If it helps pass the time, think of the fire as the planet's first operating system.
Camping is common among creepy white trash and loud, drunk white trash, so spending the night in a public camping ground means having these people flanking your five-foot plot. It's fine that the neighbors are obnoxious and untrustworthy, you traveled twenty minutes outside of town to enjoy nature, not to sing the newest Tim McGraw song. Sleeping in the woods allows a person to return to his or her natural beginnings; unfortunately, returning to one's natural beginning requires four hundred dollars worth of gear.
Helpful Tip: Avoid rape by reading Froloxio's helpful tips!
I know, it seems weird, but trust me. Bird watching can be a lot of fun. As a hobby, it is enthralling and relaxing. Simply choose someplace you feel comfortable (backyard, local park, not EB games) and wait. The idea of bird watching is to go unseen, so your extensive collection of camouflage pants will finally come in handy. You may have to stay still for at least thirty seconds, so be sure to bring an extra dose of Ritalin. If you want to attract more birds to your area, try scraping sesame seeds off the top of your Baconator into a bird tray.
Helpful Tip: If you see a rare bird, kill it. That way you can show others!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
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