Professional Cowboy Networking
Dire Creek Schoolhouse AcademyGrades K-12
Bullwhip County High
Bachelor of Rodeo
Dead Pines College
Master of Bovine Husbandry
University of Nevada at Cripplewood
PhD, Range Theory
Snapneck Bend University
On Horseback - Annals of Frontier Justice
Hegemonic Masculinity & Desperado Transgression - The Sagebrush Journal of Cowboy Theory
Lonesomest RiderLonely Trail Magazine
Western Ranging Magazine
Montana Sheriffs Association
Unaffiliated Lawman of the Year
Presented for hanging
Karl "The Utah Untamed Man" Hassletramp
Helmsley "Hell" Holst
Presented for hanging
The Badwater Roughnecks
The Snapneck Bend University Banditos
The Headless Canyon Lobsters
The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Gang
The Lost Man Creek Boys
The Annals of Frontier Justice Advisory Board Gang
The Oak Ridge Boys
The Dakota Men Unbound By Honor
The Pyramid Lake Dynamite Gang
The Margaritaville Six
Rope Tricks Invented
The Langdon Loop (proprietary)
The Kankakee Goosechase
The Dutch Wagon
The Ankle Dangle
The Hubris of King Suryavarman II
The Wolf's Butler
The Chinaman's Challenge
The Collection Plate
The Pancho Caligula Memorial Depravity Loop
The Horseback Hangman
Poetry, Rambling/Ranging, Yodeling, Desert Survival, Removing Hat in Presence of Lady, Landscape Painting, Horsemanship, Sharpshooting, Tin Can Cookery, Justice
The Weeping Canyon Yodel Choir
The Guild of Lonesome Riders
President, Montana Chapter
The Nevada Cowboy Poet Association
"Hank Langdon is a danged good lawman and a gentleman. He ain't prone to salty language. Come to think of it, I'll be danged if I ever heard him say more'n five words strung in a row. He ain't much for drinking, neither. Until Hank came to town, I hadn't never seen a man run into a burning saloon to save a lady's chair so she might sit more comfortably outside."
- Farley Applewood, Cougar Gulch, NV
"That man saved my hide from the depraved torments of Pancho Caligula. When he brought me back to town unharmed, I offered him the comforts of my womanhood, but he tipped his hat and told me that his trail is a lonesome one. Hank Langdon is a fine man."
- Mary Copperneck, Burning Tree, MO
"I expect to be shot dead by Hank Langdon within the week, and I ain't sorry about it. He got me fair and square. I visited bad upon this world and I welcome the justice of a worthy man."
- Genghis Calhoun, Hell's Porch, AZ
"I ain't much. I done what I done. The good works of a man follow him to the hereafter, they say, but God willing, mine'll rest here on earth a spell whilst I enjoy His kingdom without the company of hanged men and sundry lonesome sorrows."
With college finals approaching, it's time once again for Microsoft Word autosummaries of all the old, boring books you were supposed to read.
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.