No flooring? No wall covering? No problem! You got an unfinished basement? My friend, you've got an opportunity, and we've got just what you need! We can help you turn any room from your wildest imagination into a disappointing reality.
Who needs an expensive gym membership when you can get all the working out you need right in the part of your home you don't like to go down to at night. Time to pump it up and battle the bulge while you're battling those black spiders that just keep coming out of the window sills. Set up a gym in your unfinished basement with this collection of irregular and mismatched exercise equipment.
You can't beat our unbelievable low price of $199.95! Act now and we will throw in a full-length mirror without a frame that is cracked at the top and leaning against the wall!
Sweet Bachelor Pad
Do you like speakers? How about entertainment? How about mysterious padding falling from the exposed ceiling? If you answered yes to this and possibly other questions we did not ask, then we can help you outfit your adult child with the ultimate bachelor pad in your unfinished basement. He'll definitely recover from dropping out of business school once he's locked away like a Morlock playing Call of Duty all night long.
Wow! All that for just $309. You're not asleep and dreaming on that mattress yet! This is real!
Ma'am, what if I told you I have the miracle of a lifetime right here in this briefcase?
TEH SOCIAL MEDIA FASTBOOK STOLE MY DATA. SOLD IT TOO A HOG CON GAME. WHERED MY DATA GO??>? WHO TEH HELL KNOWS! IM IN DIGITAL HELL
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