No flooring? No wall covering? No problem! You got an unfinished basement? My friend, you've got an opportunity, and we've got just what you need! We can help you turn any room from your wildest imagination into a disappointing reality.
Who needs an expensive gym membership when you can get all the working out you need right in the part of your home you don't like to go down to at night. Time to pump it up and battle the bulge while you're battling those black spiders that just keep coming out of the window sills. Set up a gym in your unfinished basement with this collection of irregular and mismatched exercise equipment.
You can't beat our unbelievable low price of $199.95! Act now and we will throw in a full-length mirror without a frame that is cracked at the top and leaning against the wall!
Sweet Bachelor Pad
Do you like speakers? How about entertainment? How about mysterious padding falling from the exposed ceiling? If you answered yes to this and possibly other questions we did not ask, then we can help you outfit your adult child with the ultimate bachelor pad in your unfinished basement. He'll definitely recover from dropping out of business school once he's locked away like a Morlock playing Call of Duty all night long.
Wow! All that for just $309. You're not asleep and dreaming on that mattress yet! This is real!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
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