This article is part of the Spout.ly Drinking Fountain Reviews series.
February has proven especially thirst-quenching for Shaggy Butte's fountain aficionados, with a spate of new arrivals and new discoveries bringing in some much-needed freshness. February's Hot Sips deliver some surprises, but most of all, they'll take care of your thirst. -Spout.ly Senior Editor Chris Bluefield
Shaggy Butte First Presbyterian
"This is absolutely stupid. There's no reason why a religious institution should get one of the better DFs in town. We have something called separation of church and state that makes this sort of thing illegal. I don't want anybody asking me about God when I come to gulp up." -Sipswell
"I tried to remove this fountain from the church, where it should not be, and was yelled at by an old bearded man who I think lived there. I gave him a stern lecture about separation of church and state, pointed out the incorrect nature of his faith, and told him to read Atlas Shrugged. Feel like I opened his mind for sure, although I was unable to liberate the fountain." -DeepDrinker
"This place has been closed for several months, but some kids knocked out the window with a brick. After that it made perfect sense to go in and see if the water was still hooked up. It is, and it's heavy. Low use, so expect a long button delay, but the water you get has that nice, brown, mineral-heavy quality you get from virgin founts." -FountainClimber
"If you can stomach all the teens hanging around asking you to buy them beer, there is a great fountain here. Heads up: one of the teens might be dead. If not, he's been sleeping for a few days. But the water is strong. It's like drinking whiskey and leaves you just as hungover." -Drooler
Dalton Funeral Home
"One of the best fountains of 2013. The guy who runs this place really cares about providing a quality sip, but he's a bit of a jerk. The first time I visited he was very nice, but he's gotten more rude with each subsequent visit, and tried to run me out a few times. Also the crying and depressed people can make drinking here unpleasant, but the water is just so good." -Sir Sips-a-Lot
"It's a pretty somber place to grab a sip but well worth it. If anybody asks you how you know the deceased, it's best to just make up some story. People get really uppity if you say you're just here for the fountain. Some pregnant lady started crying when I said that once. Made it really awkward to finish filling my water jugs." -BigSlurper
Shaggy Butte Women's Shelter
"As far as I can tell, the women here have no real appreciation for the fountain my tax dollars are providing them. It's disgusting. And the looks they give me when I come in to enjoy a drink. I'm not a monster, I'm just thirsty. Good water though. Crystal clear and light. I'm a loud gulper, though, which apparently ruffles some feathers here." -Evenflow
"Talk about your Debbie Downers. I've never seen a more ungrateful crowd. This is arguably in the top twenty or top thirty drinking fountains in town, and the residents couldn't care less. You may have some trouble getting in to try it, thanks to the extra security guards. I guess they've never heard of a little thing called 'Men's Rights.' I'll drink where I want." -The Sip Doctor
"One of the employees here spiked the fountain. For about two weeks it was pushing out soda syrup without the carbonation. Cherry Pepsi by my estimation. I'm pretty sure he got fired. I think he was a latino." -Slurp
"A great fountain for sure. Water quality here is above average, and it's near to one of the best meal deals in town. I save this fountain for dates where the girl is also above average. Most women aren't knowledgeable on the local fountains and appreciate me educating them." -Waterbaron
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
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Reviews of Shaggy Butte's drinking fountains, from Spout.ly and other rival sites.