• TERRORFunny Item #23
  • Those stubborn grass stains (There’s got to be a better way!)
  • Dropo, the Laziest Man on Mars
  • J.D. Salinger, the Laziest Man on Earth
  • Harper Lee, the Laziest Woman on Earth
  • The 1995 Charlotte Hornets
  • Just for Men beard and mustache dye (promotes younger and healthier-looking terror)
  • The Trilogy of Terror
  • The Twilight Zone’s Tower of Terror
  • The Markel Family of Tapdancing Expatriates
  • Flag Away™ Flag Repellant
  • The following concepts (if you can find a way to give money to concepts, please do not): terror / small-scale, marginal terror (usu. bee-related) / “Thanksgiving-style” fullness / workplace Friday topical humor / confusion-based terror (ex. when you have to sneeze, but can’t) / sexual confusion-based terror (ex. finding yourself very attracted to a character in a Squaresoft game, then discovering 20 hours later that this character is a man)
  • Death to America brand pork chili
  • Japanimations
  • Afghanistanimations
  • Iranimations
  • Talibanimations
  • The producers of Porky’s III: Smash the State
  • The “writers” of Star Ocean 3: Till the End of Time (alleged to be a feral pack of anti-American snow monkeys)
  • Novelty bomb squads
  • A “very special” Blossom
  • DDR fans unaware that they peaked in the womb
  • More Front Page News

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    • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

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      Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

    • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

      BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

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