CHAMBER OF HORRORS

I'M FULL OF CONTEMPT FOR THESE PICTURES!

Oh, Komrade Hitlerstalin, you were doing so well but you just had to make this stupid picture. Why? Why? Now I have no choice but to wish that you accidentally fall down and land on a catapult, and that this catapult hurls you into a waste treatment facility where the abnormally high exposure to human waste mutates you into a creature of the sewers. There you will spend many lonely nights, and, oh, God, there will be bats, so many bats. Their infernal screeches will grind into the fabric of your soul, and the stench will scream as well, and you will eventually take your own life using a pizza cutter you fashioned out of guano.

In our weekly forum thread discussing the Phriday submissions, Marionette lamented on how the 60kb size limit I have in place for images tarnished the quality of her picture. I disagree, for the utter shitiness tarnished the quality of her image. Not only do we not need to see Michael Jackson's head pasted into every conceivable picture, we don't need his head pasted into every conceivable picture with stupid outer space molestation humor wrapped around it like a leather harness of shame. The less detail we get on this terrible picture of poor craftsmanship and bad humor, the better. I've seen about a dozen Michael Jackson submissions in the last month, and I just don't need to see any more.

Hey Monkeypoop, ALF IS FROM MILMACK, NOT MARS! THANKS ASSHOLE!!!!!

Pablo, I wrote you a haiku:

A picture so harsh
I vomit into the wind
On your face, it splats

Penguininja, you clever card! So that's where he's been hiding all along! How adorable! :) I'm forwarding this message to all my friends! I think my grandma would probably hang this on her refrigerator. Well, that is if she hadn't died from the intense trauma of looking at this stupid picture! Hey, thanks for killing my grandma, jerk.

Bah, take your Farkesque work and get out of my solar system!

Wow, I sure am obnoxious and stupid. Please join us next week when we Photoshop Canadian coinage to make it look more American.

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)

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