Today's Phriday definitely packs some variety! The first couple pages address Saint Sputnik's claim that a sinkhole in Chicago recently swallowed three cars. I haven't been able to slow things down and double-check this tip, given the fast-moving news cycle of today's cyber-era, but I will take his word for it. This is a pretty lighthearted story, upsetting only to the car-owners and cars involved, so no harm done if the SA Goons wanted to have some fun with the gaping pavement! The second half addresses Minorkos' dubious claim that sports are not particularly interesting without his intervention. Sports don't need Minorkos, but his Forums peers had some cool ideas!
Here is the sinkhole footage Saint Sputnik presented. It's real and unaltered, probably.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!