They struck suddenly, with supernatural might.

Warrior women of the South Pole. Sworn enemies of the Claus family. They were banished from this land centuries ago. Yet something had brought them back.

But though we are a peaceful people, the elves of the North Pole are hardly defenseless.

If it is war that they want, then war they shall receive.

The fighting raged on all day and into the night.

Our warriors fought with all their might.

But the joyous elves of Christmas Town are meant for making toys, not war.

And the next morning, as their reinforcements arrived and casualties mounted...

...we had no choice but to surrender to the fascist forces of the South Pole.

More Second Life Safari

This Week on Something Awful...

About This Column

Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.