Santa rushed back to the North Pole, but he was too late. Christmas Town had fallen upon hard times.
Where once joyful carols were met with cheers...
...now they ended in blood and tears.
Those who tried to escape were shot.
And those terrible, terrible ovens never ceased to burn, nor send roiling black smoke streaking across the greasy sky.
Yes, there was no Yuletide cheer in Christmas Town this year.
Santa, in a selfless effort to save his beloved helpers, surrendered and begged his captors for mercy.
Now he lies tortured in their gulag.
And as we Christmas elves cried their little Christmastime tears...
...the South Pole warriors ruled with violence and fear.
Thus began the long, terrible reign of Neva Braun, fascist ice queen of all the arctic.
And so ends my story as well, for I can hear the troops of Neva Braun knocking at my chamber door. If it pleases posterity, know that I lived well, and only molested that one doll in a moment of youthful indiscretion. May this letter someday, in a kinder time when our strife is but lore and legend, find its way to the eyes of those who care, so that this infernal travesty may never, ever happen again.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.