Santa's personal parking spot should never be vacant so close to Christmas.
But the buildings he found in this virtual place were so majestic.
Opulence rarely seen in reality was the norm in this place.
Who, Santa wondered, had enough free time to design and build such palaces, pixel by pixel?
Sure, they were well-read.
And enjoyed wonderful amenities.
But who chose to expend such effort for something so unreal?
And why were these richly decorated homes...
...filled with things that made Santa cry?
What was this place? This horrible, horrible place?
It was all too much for poor old St Nick, and he fainted dead away. And during his slumber, Christmas Town lay unprotected. An ancient evil began its unholy march.
In case you read my profile online and got excited, I wanted to clear up any misunderstandings.
In a Something Awful exclusive, we reveal the true state of Darren Wilson after his harrowing encounter with Michael Brown.
Second Life Safari highlights a magical and mystical adventure through the bowels of the Internet. We take a look behind the scenes of "Second Life," and present to you the things all other media outlets are too embarrassed to show. Social networking hits another new low, and can only be seen in Second Life Safari.