Command & Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath
When Kane's local drug store is out of razors, we all pay. 7/10
Welcome to 1996, where this RTS would have only been slightly behind the curve in graphics, game mechanics, and production quality. 0/10
Focus-tested and reworked from the ground up for your apathetic pleasure. 7/10
Viking: Battle For Asgard
Two hours of fun in a ten hour game. 6/10
Pinball Hall Of Fame - The Williams Collection
Revisit the greatest pinball machines of all time, with the added bonus of radiation. 8/10
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Manages to be better than Final Fantasy VII, earning a spot in the prestigious and exclusive "Every Halfway Decent And Comprehensible Video Game Released In The Last Ten Years" club. 8/10
Rainbow Islands Evolution
By associating itself with the rainbow, Evolution does more damage to the gay community than an army of indestructible laser robots fueled by the prayers of Fred Phelps. 2/10
Sega Superstars Tennis
Pudding from Space Channel Five is a superstar in the same way that Sega Superstars Tennis is a must-buy. 4/10
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
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