Late in the cycle of any generation of Dungeons & Dragons the supplements start to get a little weird. Such was the case with 1987's Book of Wondrous Inventions, a supplement for D&D and AD&D that introduced a variety of reader-suggested magical items and devices. This is without a doubt the stupidest compendium of magic items ever produced for any Dungeons & Dragons line. Nearly every item on every page deserves to be showcased here, from the magical oven to the magical baby cradle.
Zack: So many reader mails on this one, Steve. We had to cover it. Keep in mind, this is an official game accessory.
Steve: I love this book. This thing is full of the sort of magic items me and Keith used to cook up when we were in 7th grade.
Zack: That sounds about right.
Steve: Keith came up with a pair of jeans that would turn your lower body into an evil worm body. Mine was Band of the Owl and it was a headband you could wear that would allow you to swivel your head around 360 just like an owl.
Zack: Owls can't swivel their heads 360.Steve: Yes they can, they're famous for that.
Zack: They can do 180 and then turn it around the other way, but they can't rotate like a swivel chair.
Steve: 180+180 = 360 and anyway, you're missing the point.
Zack: Which is?
Steve: This book rules!
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.